Freedom?

“Freedom !!!! You are so lucky !”, said a work colleague at my farewell morning tea last Friday. I am not quite sure where luck came into it, this was was something I have been planning and “saving for“ for a long time. The hardest part was making the decision to do it.

Yes,  I am definitely free from the shackles of full time employment and, sadly, the pay packet that comes with it! However, ‘freedom’ meant I spent the whole of last night wide awake and worrying about the amount of things I need to do before I leave in eight weeks.  Three months ago, eight weeks sounded like a ridiculously long time to be off work before travelling, but right now, I am not so sure.

When I got up this morning I started updating and prioritising the list of jobs and it is huge! From large, important tasks like selling the house through to the small, potentially frustratingly time consuming things like cancelling utilities. These are all mixed in with the probably emotionally draining tasks of divorce and separation of assets and the packing up for storage or disposal of all the stuff the kids left before they went on their own travels.

Whenever I hear the word “freedom” I think of the opening line from the Cockney Rejects song “Police car”. “Freedom? there ain’t no fucking freedom.”

That’s what it felt like this morning.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lREDv6uU7o

About wheresphil

Originally from Auckland, New Zealand, now living in London.
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One Response to Freedom?

  1. Vicki says:

    I’ve spent my lifetime being accused of “running away”. I’ve learned avoidance is an impossibility: no matter how far you run, you take your fears, insecurities and emotions with you: there ain’t no “running away”, and there ain’t no “freedom” either. I think the only option is to make peace with yourself. Obligatory smiley face hehheh 🙂

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